Mail from grandpa

You're an extreme redneck when ........

1) You let your 14-year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of
her kids

2) The Blue Book value of your truck goes up or down depending on how
much gas is in it

3) You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws

4) You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night

5) You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean

6) Someone in your family died right after saying "Hey, guys, watch this."

7) You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader

8) Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan

9) Your junior prom offered day care

10) You think the last words of the " Star Spangled Banner " are
" Gentlemen, start your engines "

11) You lit a match in the bathroom, and your house exploded
right off it's wheels

12) The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse

13) You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge

14) One of your kids was born on a pool table

15) You need one more hole punched in your card, to get a freebie at
the House of Tatoos

16) You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's
a law against it

17) You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk